Life. What is this that we live? I will have been alive for 30 years in a few hours. Studying astronomy this semester has made me realize how insignificant we really are in the grand picture. Thirty years is nothing! The sun, is not even half way through its life yet, less than 5 billion years. Think about that for a moment. How can we measure our place in this universe we live in? The vastness of space, cold, impossibly huge, ever expanding, how can I fit in this with any measure of importance. By the human standard and the environment to which I occupy, I see nothing but sheep, people going about their ways with no apparent consideration for the sheer insignificance when compared to the vastness of the universe. I wonder what this all means some times. I wish I had a better understanding of who I am and what, if any, part I play. Presently things are incredibly difficult and I don't know how to deal with them. I feel like that sometimes it shouldn't matter because if you really look at it, I am composed of carbon and water, a common element that is in abundance among space. What am I, what significance can I possibly bring to anything? I wonder if this life I have been given is for naught. From an animal perspective I have propagated and produce wonderful children who continue to amaze me. I don't know any more. Children aside, I am unhappy. Do I even have the luxury of being unhappy? I live in a house, I have food, I have entertainment, what does it all mean? What does this life mean?

New PC

I built this new system Thursday night. Rally pleased with how everything turned out.

Where've you been? Busy :(

Not sure if anyone is waiting with bated breath on updates, (passive aggressive I know). I have much to say but am so tired for some reason. I am taking a crack at a much healthier lifestyle. Working out 6 days a week, twice a day. In addition, quit smoking and gave up all the unhealthy shit that surrounds us in this American culture. In short, I feel good. Things seem to be improving weight wise but there are things that are still lack, particularly in my mind.